Flutterby

Dear Caitlin,

While immediately I am not too worried about removing you from my Facebook because I see you fairly frequently, I know it is probably only a matter of time before you quit this town and disappear. This gives me pause, but all the same, everyone has a time, and yours is today.

I first saw you when you used to come in to the café in the am. I am now assuming this was before class. I never spoke to you because you always seems so immersed in your work. I thought at the time that you were just really diligent in your studies, but as you have now informed me most of the time it was cramming, which endeared you to me a little more.

I didn’t speak to you until I saw you with Sarah, so I had an excuse to be cavalier about meeting someone new. If I remember correctly its was a brief encounter, but the tone was set, and now I was free to nod at you to my heart’s content whenever I saw you around.

You are a hard one to sum up. Everytime I have come into contact with you, you seem like you have somewhere to be, as if you are constantly in high demand elsewhere. Conversely, you always seem eager to converse, and when I am talking to you, you seem 100% engaged in the conversation. For a guy like me it’s a flummoxing experience. I am the type of guy who gets all butt-hurt when someone answers their phone while I am talking to them. As antiquated as that feeling might be these days, I can’t really help myself. The overall effect of this is that I never quite know what to do with my hands when I am talking to you. I fidget, and talk in spurts of babble, and oneliners as the next moment you may have to rush off somewhere else. What this ends up meaning is, when we see one another it is just a download of random information and pleasantries, then it is off to something else.

The impression I get from you is that you are a fiercely caring, and warm person. You clearly put others before yourself time and time again, and your world view is of the “most people are inherently good” vein. When I have managed to corner you for a more dedicated conversation, the feeling I get is that I am the only person in the world, and that you are honestly interested in what I am saying, and what that means. It is sort of intoxicating as conversation goes, kind of makes it tough to walk away from when all is said and done. I have stretched out conversations with you that I should have let die, because you had somewhere else to be, it’s embarrassing for me to be that interested in talking, but I am ok with it.

In either case it has been interesting, and I am sure that I will continue to see you about town for the time being, now I just have to make an effort to actually talk to you in a manner that is more conducive to my method of communicating. Perhaps flash cards?

Our facebook interaction has been more or less the typical “hey whattayadoin” half drunken nonsense I have come to expect from myself, so I assume we can both live without that. I have other means of contacting you, so the loss is not too traumatic.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt