Logically...

Hey Jason,

You know somehow I thought I would have seen you again by now. Either I would have come out there or you would have visited here (which you may have). For some reason I have not had the chance. I have been watching a lot of startrek lately on Netflix. I know you must be wondering what that has to do with anything, well here goes. I have always struggled to classify what it is about your personality that made me like talking to you so much. And I think startrek has helped me here. In the startrek world there always seems to be atleast one or two ballast characters. Be it holographic doctors, or Vulcan navigation officers, androids, or what have you these characters are a the happy median balance of the crew. They are always cordial, thoughtful, and precise in their speaking. While they tend on the whole to be rather unemotional, it is not because they lack them, it is more that they play their emotions close to their vest. When other folks are on other ends of the spectrum you were always a great, reliable beacon of calm. I have pushed your buttons a few times to see if you would react, and a couple of times you did, but I counted it a success when your temper rose slightly above tepid, so it was a small victory.

In either case, all Trekkie nonsense aside, I do very much miss that. You were an extreme rarity at the café, a great sounding board, and a cool head. While a majority of the people there (myself included) were more or less shit tossing primates. I will obviously make my way to the big city someday; I just hope I can do it before you and Emily forget who the hell I am.

I don’t think we have chatted on facebook, and I am fairly sure you never use it, or do so infrequently, so no biggie in losing that. I will be catching up with you on the flipside.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Nice Fabric Choices

Dear Allison,

You are the one reason I wish I would have worked more on my Kowerk project. It would have been wonderful to see what you could have done with the space. The ideas you had, and the amount of effort you put into your ideas actually made me rethink if I was professional enough to move forward on the project, which I assure you is a good thing.

When I first met you in class you were a fairly unassuming character. You were stationed at a table of ladies that more or less embodied all I dislike in college, but you stuck out by not sticking out. I remember your mask project in that class was something else. That class aside, seeing you in the hallway of one of my other classes in Kohrman was a highlight of my day. I was always kind of panicked about it. I felt like maybe I was breaching some form of college protocol; just because I talked to you in one class does not mean I am permitted to engage you in a hallway setting. In any case you were nice to me, though I suspected for a majority of the time you did not know my name.

That is kind of how college goes anyways, we need not know each other’s name, “guy from 2d” or “chic from arthistory” suffice in most cases. It is kind of weird to me seeing you on fb and in person, versus what I saw in school. In school you always seemed so polished and proper. For lack of a better term rather preppy. But in person you are a rather organic type of person, quick with a smile and kind. The kind of person you would want to see if you were having a bad day, or maybe hurt yourself somehow. I think this is one of the cases where Facebook was a benefit to me. Were it not for facebook I am fairly sure I would have known very little else about you, or would have never contacted you again outside of school.

Colorado seems like a state made for you. I remember talking to you about places you would like to be, and that place really does have you covered. It’s weird, of all the folks I have known that have gone out there, you seem like the person who could be from there. Open spaces, mountains, nature, beauty…yup that’s you alright.

In anycase, while I will not be seeing you around anymore, I will most definitely be shooting you the occasional email just to see what’s doin. I venture I will want to visit Colorado one day, and if I do I will put you on notice as one of the legs of my tour. I will certainly miss your news feed updates, but I assume at somepoint you will have a website, so I guess I will just have to wait.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Show-Nuff

Dear Rich,

You know you and I never spent much time together. We never really made plans to go anywhere and do anything. But I know this I always had a good time talking to you and there never was a time where that happened that I did not laugh. You always have a smile on your face, and even if you were having a pisser of a day, you talked about it in way that made me crack up.

You kind of remind me of someone I should be related too. I mean the red hair, the pale complexion that always seemed to be tinted red with some form of exertion or another (I think to think it was the effort of suppressing the urge to strangle morons, which is something I can relate too). You are a good drinker, and make for some of the best passing remarks one could hope for.

All this and not to mention the depths of your geek-minutia knowledge. If ever I felt old, or weird, or just plain out of place for some random 80s reference, there you were to not only laugh at the joke, but probably one up me on my weirdness. An example:

Counterperson: “…these kids were like somekind of weird cult that worships 4loko.”

Me: “Sort of like the Berenstain Bears of the ghetto.”

Rich: “Nah I saw em, they are more like the Monchichis.”

This would be followed by blank stares from everyone at the counter, punctuated by you and I laughing and probably a couple of “jesus” comments thrown in. Its not easy getting older, and its even harder to feel like you are socially relevant to anyone under the age of 30, but luckily for us there are a few of us out there that can still talk like we are 14 sitting around a table of maps and dice drinking mellow-yellow.

I don’t know how much I will be seeing you around since I don’t tend to get out much, but I think the next time I see you I am going to make you sit down and play the “How big a nerd are you” game with me for a spell.

We have never used facebook, but it has been a blessing seeing your news feed that is often filled with the type of humor that seems tailor made for me. I will certainly miss this, and will have to comb through it all before the unfriending and cull all of your website sources. It won’t be much of a substitute, but hopefully there will be more in person interaction to back it up.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Leadership...it happens

Dear Scott,

Man it has been for ever since I contacted you. Way back when I started with STAND it was always a mixed bag of projects and deadlines. On occasion we would have those late night, quasi-booze fueled conversations about life, and by life I mostly mean girls and work (which at STAND those things were often one and the same).

I remember when I first met you in person my first though was that you were far too tall to be so young. Being the fossil I was at STAND, it seemed like everyone was atleast a decade younger than me. I mean I had Hampybags to keep me company, but he couldn’t hold my hand all the time. You were great because you carried yourself more like a full-fledged grown up than I ever have. You also had that wonderful talent where when you said something it sounding like it came from years of experience (even if it was self-admittedly bullshit). And well, there was the tall thing, and having a 5 o’clock shadow at noon.

My strongest memory of you or I has to be the “Night STAND almost ended” as it came to be known. It was you. There were three or four of us walking back to the apartment after some meeting, and it was ridiculously hot, it got up to like 100 degrees that day. It was so hot in fact that were we all kind of in auto-pilot mode, wandering through the streets of DC, which if ever there was a town where you needed to be on your toes, it’s DC. Anyhow, we were all chatting and bitching about some form of STAND drama or another, just kinda zoning out. In my head what happened went like this. You were walking infront of me with Maggie and you guys were kind of droning on about something or other and I was kind of just watching the back of your heads. We came up to an intersection, it was one of those DC intersections, a cluster fuck of like 8 streets converging on this crosswalk gauntlet. We had crossed one street and were waiting for the walk sign to change over. Just standing there, sweating, and staring and the little red hand waiting for the little walky dude to pop up. When the sign said walk, we all started walking into the street. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of lights, and my hand instinctively went up in front of me. Then with a WHOOSH! this SUV roared past our faces, about two inches from our noses. We all just stood there for a second. Stunned. We started to cross again, and about 5 steps on the other side of the street, we all kind of stopped independently from one another. I remember one of us saying something like “holy…SHIT!” and then the lights came back on in our heads and we all realized just how close we all came to dying. I looked down and my hands were shaking like crazy, and I felt kind of a rush of panic. That SUV had to have been going atleast 40 miles an hour. If we had taken one more step, that would have been it. Road pizza out of all of us. Jesus. Then someone said, “I know this sounds bad, but could you imagine what would have happened to STAND if all three of us got whacked?” That’s when the laughing started. The kind of laughing one does when the only other expression available to express what you are feeling is to shit your pants, and fall to the ground. While I am unsure if it would have indeed been the “End of STAND” it would most certainly have been the end of STAND for all of us, and would have put a severe damper on the rest of the retreat festivities moving forward.

I recount this long story, which you really had to be there to get the feeling for it, simply to illustrate a point. The leadership, and atmosphere that you had created (for me specifically anyways) kind of made me think of STAND first and foremost, and I am fairly sure most of us on the MC back then felt that way. Foregoing sleep, school work, our occupations, we were driven to make sure the organization, and its larger purpose succeeded. I think a lot of that was due to you. I always felt like if I did my job properly, and diligently, it would give you ammunition when you were representing us to the world of people out there that could help us achieve our goals.

I don’t really know how much of this is nostalgia, and how much is fact. But I still feel convinced that someday I will be voting for you, and have more hope in the action that I have in a majority of my life.

In anycase, you have my email, and obviously a backlog of a bazillion gchats and mail chains if every you need something, or just want to play the remember when game. Our Facebook relationship was really just a standard thing and we never really did much with it. But I guess on the bright side of things, I had an excuse to write this.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Click, whrrrrrrr, click.

Hey Natasha,

Every once in a while I come across some kid that has talent. My first reaction to this is jealousy, usually closely followed by some form of admiration. When I first saw the work you do, I was fairly certain I was dealing with a college grad. Since I was pointed in your direction from a fellow STAND member it seemed to fit pretty well.

Once I found out you were actually in HS, I was pretty shocked. I mean most kids in highschool can barely tie their shoes correctly, let alone put professional level work together. The first thing that popped into my mind was “Man, I have got to help this girl get her stuff out there.” Though to be honest judging from the level of skill in what you were doing, you really would not need my help to get noticed, it was only a matter of time.

In any case I have followed along with the work you have been doing (along with the drawings and other non-photography based stuff) and am comforted to know you are on a path to make a pretty good impact on the art world. I am lucky enough to have had you like the little logo I did for you, and in all honesty that logo ranks among my favorites out of the hundreds that I have done over the years.

I know you will go on to do good stuff, and I will be keeping an eye on your website for updates on your career. It has been a pleasure seeing the development of your talents, I wish you the best in making a living at it.

Having you on my Facebook friends list has by and large been a selfish thing. I just like looking at artsy stuff, so it has been more or less one sided. I should have prolly stopped sooner as I now have your website for that. In any case, as I said, I know you will do well going forward, so I won’t (and I assume you won’t either) lose any sleep over it.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Team Collegetown

Dear Andrea,

I think when I first started talking to you it all seemed possible. You were far away and all, and I definitely was drawn to you. Talking on the gchat, and email, and phone and all made me feel all warm and fuzzy. But I think the main thing that was going on in my head was I knew that if I were to have a chance with you I would have to be a far better man, or at least be willing to try.

It’s not that I thought that you thought I wasn’t good enough, it was that the more I knew about you the more my brain told me “the person I am now is not up to snuff for this”. This isn’t as tragically self-deprecating as it may sound. I am pretty ok with who I am, and think I have few things to offer. I think this speaks to how highly I hold you as a person instead.

You are one hell of a lady, and just ridiculously intelligent and beautiful. It always kind of felt like a juggling act when talking to you. I just kept thinking that at any moment there would be some obvious fuck up on my end and you would see the difference in elevation. This is all sounding pretty juvenile and high-schooly, so I am going to put that part of it to bed.

I would really like to see you in action at your chosen field. Being that the health care system, and more specifically the preventative medicine / grass roots care push is encountering so much resistance. You being a bright and obviously kind hearted person, you atleast have the right tools to make a dent in the mess.

I obviously have other means of contacting you if ever that feels like a good idea to you again, so this whole lack of fb won’t mean much (you don’t update much anyways). I greatly enjoyed our talks, and maybe at somepoint we can give it another go.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

OMG is it Caturday already!!!!

Dear Keely,

So this is nothing terribly new here, but it is sorta. I have never spoken to you directly I think. I have certainly spoken to people who you were speaking to as well, but I am fairly confident that there was no overlap. That part isn’t new for the ol’ facebook, but what is new is that I have seen you in person countless times over many years. Yet, I have said nothing, or as close to nothing as I possibly could.

That being said here is kind of what you are to me (much of which has been validated in a few ways since we have become facebook friends and I have watched your news feed). You are kind of an idea / ideal. There is this thing I do (I really hope I am not the only one) where I watch someone from a far and start building this wholly internal storyline for them. Watching may not be an accurate term as it is more of an awareness of as opposed to a witness too. For years when you were with David and I saw you guys in the café it sort of blew my mind. It was one of those things you sometimes come across when wandering in the woods. You come across a group of animals by accident, freeze in your tracks, and kind of just marvel at seeing something in person that you had either only heard about, or see on The TV.

You guys were pretty effortlessly a couple for quite sometime, and I felt like things being how they are these days, it was something rather rare, singular even maybe. Now as I have said, this whole thing may have been conjured up in my idle, whirrlymagig mess of a brain, but I know no different really so that is what I saw.

I was never a huge fan of David, and I say this with a large amount of shame for that fact. He is by all accounts a pretty great guy (I mean literally no one ever said anything bad about him) but for some reason I just had a bone up my ass for him. He did date one of my exes, but really at that point it was a non-issue, and I think I may have dated one of his, but again, pretty sure it was a non-issue. But when I saw you two together, time and time again, I grew soft on the guy. I am still not buddy buddy with him, because lets be honest who the hell am I buddy-buddy with these days? But I do appreciate him more.

I know this is an awful lot of writing about your ex, but well in my head it is necessary back story for what comes next. Since you and Micheal have been together, it has been another one of those fairytale things, except this time I am actually privy (in a small facebook manner) to what is going on there in your life. I see the way you two interact, not only with eachother, but with other people. I watch that lightning-crackle back and forth that is common only between people who have a sincere and binding connection to one another. The new fantasy in my head in regards to you is the High-powered mutant cool/nerd kid you are about to make. One marvels at the sheer scope of nerd-dom this child will be exposed to, as if perhaps the birth is going to occur at a Comicon during the someodd anniversary of Star Wars right after they announce Firefly is going to be renewed and its special guest star will be the Mythbusters…yeah, like that, but more.

In any case I will sincerely miss watching the progression of this, but I really have no right to keep putting off the Unfriending. I am getting down to the half-way point, and probably should start to write more about people I have a history with, instead of people I have a fascination with.

In any case, I hope all goes well with the kid, and I swear if I see you guys out and about I will make an effort to actually make contact. That being said…

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Three generations...is that right?

Dear Jessica,

I was actually a pretty big fan of your mom. Even though I was not in her class (so far as I can remember) she was always nice to me on my frequent visits to the office. There were very few teachers that were nice to me, and this had a rather huge effect on me.Funny thing was I don’t think it was until much later that my defective brain put two and two together and saw that you were her kid. I mean you guys looked so much alike, and the last name, but somehow it just never clicked in my head. In either case our involvement with one another seemed mixed in my memory.

I don’t recall you being mean to me or vice versa, but I seem to think there was some form of mutual poking and teasing one another. I am sure whatever it was I had it coming (and I would be willing to bet you did as well).

Is it weird being a mom? Its kind of weird for me to think of you as one. Mostly because if it weren’t for your facebook, in my head you are still like 12 years old. The image I see of you when I think of you is that of either elementary or middle school. I see pictures of your kids on there and I know it is normal for kids to look like their parents (duh) but it is kind of uncanny seeing the resemblance. Much like how the way you look reminds me of your mom. Funny how we never really spent time around each other. I guess that is the thing with school, we grew up together more or less, but social circles being what they are, I guess that is just not how things work.

All my contact info it out there should you wanna have another night at harveys like a while back. It was fun to be out with folks I knew from way back when. I know you have a new baby that is probably eating up your time like crazy, but at somepoint I imagine you will need a break. When this somepoint happens let me know, we could try and assemble some of the other old folks together and have a couple hours of “grown-up” time playing the remember when game. While I am perpetually a single guy, without any kids, I can do my best to atleast be marginally entertaining.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Graffiti and stuff

Dear Deej,

Since you and I have started to work on getting a business card going for you I think now is as good a time as ever to close out our Facebook friendship. We are communicating through email now, and so I feel it will establish a more clean line of communication over the hacken-eyed mess that is facebook chat.

Back when you were at central I could never really put a finger on what your personality was like. I think one of the first things I felt was irritation. You reminded me of myself at that age, and being the self-loathing sort I was not terribly fond. I saw that you came from a similar upbringing, has similar talents, but also the inability to process emotions much as I did when I was in school. Brown told me that you reminded her of me and after that I couldn’t help but see it.

I think with you and I being in that class was an eye opener. Back before I was part of teaching that class, I was a student. I basically ended up there because my home school (parchment) had deemed me “not college bound” (this was actually printed on my student evaluation by the way. They sent me to the program because they wanted to get me out of their school for part of the day, and find someway of making me a productive citizen since I was not bound to be a college man. I got the feeling from early on that you were in a similar boat.

Not many people expected much from you, so you got placed somewhere out of the way, so that you might not bother the more upwardly mobile students. But, as a surprise to everyone, Brown took the worst of us and gave us a shot. I have followed your progress over the years, and fortunately for both of us you no longer resemble me at all. You have worked hard, and found a way to be a great guy that no one has anything bad to say about. I hope I had some small role in this, but as with many things, people become who they are through their own effort, not so much through someone else.

I will keep my eye on you as time goes by, as I wager you will be in town in much the same way I am. With all that said, I am after all in possession of all your contact info now, so I have no excuse not too keep the lines connected.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Classyglasses

Dear Kendra,

We never met did we? I think when I first came to contacting you I was busy running back and forth between Chicago and Kalamazoo, and basically decided that I have no business trying to be social. More likely however, it was more of a case that I failed to follow through on something and missed my chance at making a connection. I do that kind of thing rather frequently, procrastinate and then forget. I saw a message from you once sometime ago, but I put off responding until it became uncomfortable for me to write. I figured I kind of blew it outright and I shouldn’t belabor the point by trying to repair any mistakes I had made already.

One of our mutual friends gave you a rather ringing endorsement, and he just happens to be one of the few “no bullshit” people I would trust to for this kind of thing. I probably should have took it upon myself to make an effort, but as this blog is a running testament too, I am not very good at it.

In anycase, we have methods of contacting one another, and hopefully at some point I will consider myself in a good enough place to make the attempt again. I am fairly sure since my slow but inevitable withdrawal from the social circuit has made what little stock value I may have decline, but maybe with this whole backing away from facebook thing, I will be forced to put myself out there IRL more and try to become a real person instead of just a collection of links and quasi-pithy remarks.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Messy means its working

Dear Liz,

It has been a bit hasn’t it? I always kind of thought you would end up being a painter. I guess that is due in part to me thinking that everyone that goes to art school should be a painter if they have the chops for it. However as it turns out you have a talent for the dimensional.

I have followed along on your news feed with various incarnations of your sculpture and have seen them grow in concept as well as execution. I can’t help but wonder what they will look like when you have opportunity to devote all of your time to them, and not have the silly perfunctory school work to hold you back.

When we first met, you seemed just my type of school person. You had talent, and interest, but the school itself was basically an after thought. The “just take what I can and get out of here” approach to school. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I would have just stuck to it. I mean I am fairly comfortable with what I have chosen, but its seeing how your work has developed thanks to school and its environment that sometimes gives me pause. I wonder if some extra schoolin’ might have helped me as much. In any case I haven’t seen you in forever, and we don’t really associate on the Facebook anymore, so this has a kind of finality too it. But well, I am sure that it will be neigh on impossible to think that I won’t be seeing you again around town. If nothing else I am sure my various associates in the art world will be giving me updates when you start producing what I can only assume will be a mass of quality work.

It was a fun run, and I am hopeful that as time goes on we will bump into one another again.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Jewelry...and I am ok with that.

Hey Devin,

Being pretty much the only dude at Western that I didn’t want to beat the shit out of is a pretty high honor in my book. While there were a few teachers I like who were dudes, most the male students felt the need to have pissing contests with me on a daily basis. I know, I know, yeah I am an old dude wandering around a bunch of young bucks, but jesus, somedays I just had to smoke all day in the middle of the field to get some peace. Then there was you.

Laid back. I know this is a term to describe a lot of people, and often it is used as an underhanded way to say someone was harmless in that damp towel sort of way. But not with you. While I never directly saw you do anything bad, I could certainly sense that (much like myself) given the right motivation you would not hesitate drop gloves and say some cold shit. We had some good ol’ times in drawing class and out on the stoop at WMU. Though the daily run ins in the hallways were more indicative of our functioning associations. Quick 2 minute updates on the university shitstorms, various admissions about hating/failing a class, smoking, then right back into the fray.

It might not have seemed like much, but coming from a guy that spent the 2 previous years of school smoking by himself pretending he didn’t see the other smokers, it was a god send. I saw you recently which means you are still in town someplace, which means I will get to run into you again.

We have never really done the FB thing, so this all is really a formality, but well I kept you on here for a reason, which I stated above.

Shoot me an email next time you are rollin out somewhere, we can meet up and rehash silly shit from days gone by. If nothing else we can stand out side of a bar and chain smoke and pace like the good ol’ days.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Boom.

Dear Kristen,

Oh how I wish I could have bought you lunch that one time, it would have been super cool to do that being like a bazillion miles away, and maybe could have made me see like a much cooler dude than I am.

I very much enjoyed talking to you, and I know I have become a sucking online friend as of late, but well if it is any consolation I am a sucky IRL friend too from what I have been told. There are so many things about you that seem incongruent with what I loosely call “my view of the world”. You gots tattoos, pitbull(s), are vegan, like rollerderby, and have a fetish for bikes. Now normally, you through those things in a blender and try to serve it to me I assume its 100% shit-sandwich time. But inexplicably those things all sincerely represent facets of who you are, without pretense. I am SO fucking sick of hipsters, AND of people cracking on hipsters, and in general just the whole “lets just beat this hipster horse into the ground” thing it makes me vomit blood. But never the less, the media and interwebs has succeeded in making me hyper-aware of all the calling cards of the hipster sub-set. You my dear have some of those stripes, but you are an animal of a different color all together.

When we had our little afternoon chin wags whilst workin’ I actually felt like I had an office buddy. Someone to gossip with, and pull pranks with, and just in general be forces for good against the workaday hordes surrounding us. Reading you news feed has been great, but really it pales in comparison to gchatting about stupid shit in our day to day lives.

That being said, its not easy to unfriend you from here, but I have an alternative so I can’t really get all bitchy about it. It’s just that now, one or both of us have to actually make a small effort to keep up with whats what in eachothers lives. Which I actually will try to try to do!

Ok, enough blabbering I will bug you later obviously, long live the Killer Wheels!

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Miss Directions

Dear Karie,

Maybe it had something to do with you having a surname that reminds me of my favorite lever action rifle. Maybe it was those faces you make that defy explanation. Or maybe it was just plain old “cute girl” I wanted to FB stalk. In either case you were one of my first completely online friends.

We tried to meet up once as you may recall and thanks to some shoddy directions, and even shoddier clarification of those directions from me, it never happened. In some ways I am kind of glad for that, because if we had met who knows if we would still be talking now.

You in my opinion really do put yourself out there on the FB. A lot of people really go to extreme lengths to monitor what they say online for fear of having people give them shit about it. To my knowledge you post directly from the heart about your life. Thanks to this, I sometimes have the feeling I have been around you for years in a far more personal manner than a lot of folks who sit next to me day-to-day.

I have followed with interest your employment woes and triumphs, your semi-personal rants, and as always your ups and downs in the dating arena. One of the best things about this lately is that you seem to be elated with your current fella, and he seems like a wonderful guy, which obviously you deserve if not only because you are a wonderful person, but because it about fucking time.

I have quite a few friends on FB that are far away, or otherwise unreachable, and sometimes it bothers me how much I would like to see them. If I could just get past my obvious social ineptitude I could probably make those issues go away, but I guess I have just been taking baby steps towards that.

In either case I know we have a few methods to keep in contact already, and if for some reason you don’t know what those contacts are, let me know and I will send them to you immediately. Although I may not be privy to your day to day activities after the unfriending, maybe (one hopes) it will make me get off my ass and come see you in your own town like a real life grown up would do.

I won’t belabor the point, obviously I have a soft spot for you in the old ticker, so just maybe keep me in mind every now and again and that would be awesome.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

SUPERMEGA UPDATE POST

Two Months in:

I have a few more slots to fill in due to some opt outs and some people I dropped for personal reasons. That being said I maybe posting a few more of these “where we are” posts as we filter through the final half of the list. It has been 2 months since I started this and here are the numbers:

4 opt outs:

I seriously thought there would be more, but then it occurred to me that some of my “friends” might not like my slew of cat based posts, or generally inane rantings and may have my me hidden on their news feed. That being said there were I think 5 folks I took out who were I think clueless about this but would have opted out due to them either being a former client or someone who does not know me terribly well and may not want me babbling on about them.

74 people unfriended:

There was a couple of bits of nastiness that was luckily not terribly public (more on that later) other than that people have been supportive, encouraging, and in some cases there have been some heartfelt pleadings (also more on this later).

5,100 pageviews:

To me it seems kind of strange anyone would actually read this, as I probably wouldn’t unless it was a post about me (surprise surprise). In the beginning it was definitely on a higher pace than it has been recently. I blame myself for this as my posting has become erratic and half-assed a lot of the time due to having a bad memory, no memory, or just the daily grind of posting and selecting. I am going to try to be more diligent as I move on to phase two. Having people comment or message me about the posts helps as it gives me some encouragement and sadly some form of validation. Again though, I am doing my best not to get overly attached to the number of people who read it as that number is almost guaranteed to go down as the list gets shorter. I started this exercise in ego for myself after all and I really should not care who if anyone reads it…but I do.

21 unanswered friend requests:

This has been especially surprising. I mean before I started doing this I would maybe get 1 friend request a month, and almost always from someone I knew well. While I am sure to the ladies out there this may be a tiny number (one only imagines what being a cute girl on fb is like) to a dude its a lot. Then again I am unsure, if any of you reading this feel like it, fill me in on what you think is a normal number. The real shocker came when a girl that I did not know, who is ridiculously attractive, and apparently too cool for school, friend requested me. At first I thought it was a fishing scam, as any self respecting male would, but then on a second glance it turns out she was after all a real person. While I would like to say we are now happily married and just put a down payment on our first bag of pizza rolls (what a great story that would be to write, albeit farfetched) I stuck to my guns and politely declined the friendship, for fear of the math it would involve. It humbles and embarrasses me to think of how hard it actually was.

In any case I have tried to explain to all requesters that by the nature of what I am doing I cannot accept any more friends, for the most part people have been good about it.

27,701 Words in this here Word file:

This number continues to terrify me. I am not even half way through and I already have 54 pages of crap. As mah buddy Drew would say “you need to get a goddamn job”. While I do, in fact, have a job, the sentiment is a valid one that haunts me every time I open this file.

Other things of note stats wise:

I got a small but welcome bump from a lady over at the Uniblog in exchange for some doodles which was nice. Also since Facebook is (I suspect) waging a war with Google, and making chrome run like shit with FB I have seen both safari and firefox move up the ranks past Chome as the number one browser to my site. This is just one more thing I would like to fuckstart FB’s head for. I WILL NOT be using browser other than Chrome, Facebook, make your UI as shitty as you want, I am a google man through and through even if I have to refresh my fucking profile a million times just to see if my post made it or not…

What Have I learned:

I have actually gotten quite a bit out of this. By the way if this isn’t a long enough post now, shits about to get biblical in length, so run while you can. While the people I have unfriended as of late have been fringe friends, and mostly e-friends, I have done my best to be diligent in capturing what I remember about them. There have certainly been some duds on my end writing wise, but well, I ain’t no scholar and ya’ll should know that.

I have tried to sprinkle some more hefty friends in there so that I am not just boring the shit out of everyone (including me) but Its getting towards crunch time and space is at a premium. I have also been trying to cut out folks I have been putting off due to not knowing what to write. In the beginning I could be all cavalier about putting people off for another day because I had so many posts in front of me. But now it’s like “shit who the fuck AM I going to unfriend” and those folks who aren’t 500 plus worders are getting booted. They are certainly, at this point considered friends, but they are friends which I have either had a limited amount of time with, or are so far removed that I don’t remember much about them and I.

That’s another observation I have had. That I have in some instances used friending someone as an endorsement of them, not because I am actually friends with them. Its kind of “liking” a page in my book. Yeah I know I don’t KNOW you, but I like what you are doin there, keep it up, here is my “friendship”. While this is fine and dandy when FB is just a collection of other people’s personal minutia, it takes on a different meaning when you are starting to add weight to said relationships but writing about them.

While I have certainly had some mushy moments writing these posts, it is what’s coming that is going to be the real test. It seems to me that this is going to be similar to those over produced photo montages at the end of some sappy drama where some dude kicks the bucket and so they show you a flash back of him as a kid playing in the park, or like pictures of puppys, or I don’t know Don Mattingly retiring…its tragic, saccharine, and really part of the reason I watch those types of movies all the time, alone, surrounded by pizza rolls and my pillow that I have had since birth.

There is more that I have gathered so far but I am going to save some of it for a later post (as god knows this is already a fucking jumble of unreadable shit).

A bit about the readers:

Oh the joys of being “followed” on blogger. Right now I have about 18 people who have followed me on blogger. While in the beginning this seemed rather silly since most people need only look to my feed to see when I post, now I am realizing that as this moves on I have no idea if people I have unfriended are still reading. While this is part and parcel with the whole idea, again it pays toward that tasty validation I so desperately need to carry on without whining too much. So yeah, maybe follow me if you aren’t, as a carrot for you; I plan on having a get together when this is all over complete with swag at some local watering hole, and I will probably only post the flyer on the blog as all my friends, and profile will be gone by then.

A bit about the nastiness referenced earlier (as if anyone can remember that far back). I had someone who was basically a friend of mine, not like blood brothers or anything, but someone I liked to talk to, or atleast tolerate on my bad days, essentially troll me. Shitty comments, some shitty facebook fan page (which if you joined or got joined you might want to leave) and some basic back and forth. While I live by the motto “don’t feed the trolls” I got a liitle pissy about it. I am not against trolling as an idea, as it helps to keep me from taking anything too seriously, but I guess I just didn’t see it coming and got all butt-hurt about it like a little bitch. It’s actually a little surprising to me there hasn’t been more of that, but I am thankful there hasn’t been as I don’t like getting all huffy about what is essentially a meaningless interwebs thing.

A bit about some pleadings referenced earlier (jesus, what was that like in the 90’s or something) Some folks have been either confused by this whole thing, or are actually concerned about getting unfriended. The folks that have been confused kind of confuse me. On the one had I understand that no one reads every post on their news feed, I certainly don’t. And as I mentioned earlier, some people may have me hidden what with all the cats and nerdy interwebs horse shit I post. But If you get unfriended, and don’t take a second to actually read the sticky post on the main page that is on you. I know in a lot of ways this whole thing is silly, and self-centered, and to be taken with a grain of salt as it is coming from me, but if I am actually your friend I would imagine that at somepoint you would look at all these similar posts on my feed and be like “what the hell is he doing” and maybe glance at one. If you aren’t interested after that, or at the bare minimum aware of what it is that I am doing, just go ahead and get the fuck off my list. It really is like the LEAST bit of effort one can do and still call themselves my friend. I mean, I have very dear friends that I don’t hear from for years at a time, and I still love them like they never went away, but if you are on my list and can’t spare 2 minutes to look at something that is in your face every day…well take a flying fuck at a rolling donut I guess.

As far as people who are somewhat fearful of getting unfriended; that is pretty flattering…albeit in a kind of weird way. You should take solace in the fact that I just because we are no longer gonna be FB friends, does not mean I am dead. This is the interwebsfuturetime we are in, there are a million other ways you can get ahold and keep in touch with me. Here are a few:

Email: on my info page which is now public (my whole profile is which would be kind of terrifying if I thought my personal information was valuable or even mildly interesting)

Deviant art: Again on my website list on the info page, for those of you who still want to see some of my doodles.

My business site: Info. If you need something designed, or know someone that knows someone who needs some designin’.

My telemaphone:Message me and I will send it to you, and maybe even read the text, or answer the call you make to me.

Letters: again message me for my address.

Carrier Pidgeon: Hell if I know how those things work, but google that shit.

Drew: My hetero life partner already has to answer for me all the time, I am sure if you say something to him, he is sure to bitch to me about it and I will get in contact.

And finally the Blog: While after this is over the blog will not be updated at all, rest assured it will stay up and if you follow or comment on it, it will get to me.

So you see, don’t worry your little heads (jesus, I mean I am kind of a douche, why the fuss anyways) I am the interwebs, I am self aware, and all your base are…well you get the idea.

In closing:

Over the next 127 or so days things will be interesting. Maybe not daytime tv interesting, but definitely Billy Mays infomercial interesting. If you have read this far it would be nice if you shared this massive massive load of horse shit with some people via your news feed, twitters, reddit, stumbleupon, or digg (haha gotcha, who uses digg…if you still use digg let me know so I can unfriend you). My anemic ego needs some stroking, maybe you know just the person with that special supple wrist to help out.

That is all for now, no one gets unfriended today lest they do so of their own choosing.

Curt

bina bina bo bina mah nana fanna fo fina...

Dear Sabina,

Anytime I have doubts about people (which is frequent) or their convictions, I think of you. When I first met you, you seemed impossibly sweet. You said you grew up on a farm, you baked cookies at like 1am, and apparently you packed a sack lunch to DC. You were one of the folks that made me feel right at home on the retreat.

Not that you and I are particularly alike, we aren’t. You have a myriad of traits that I could only be so lucky to aspire to. But you remind me of my sister Gloria. She is the kind of no bullshit lady that seems like a throwback to the dust bowl era. She can walk into your kitchen, find half a dozen things that you assumed were only there for decoration, and feed you a damn good meal, and give you life advice that you just might need to hear. You have the same level headed, purposeful manner about you that can only come from open spaces, dirt under your fingernails and “good living” as it goes.

You aren’t one for silly ceremonies and I can even imagine you having a preconceived notion in your head. The stuff you are doing now suits you to the core, and I honestly can not think of a single person I would rather be a representative of the country I am from. Sure, I may have friends that embody the best that America has to offer, many of whom were your fellow STAND people. But you represent to me the best that America wishes to offer.

You are kind to a fault, gentle in your words (lest someone cross you or your friends) and more patient and understanding than a vast majority of people. All this while being super bright, hardworking, and above all a force of nature when it comes to bringing all that to bear upon a task.

I will certainly miss seeing all the amazing things you are doing, photos of gardening, celebrating life, always smiling. But I will ALWAYS have you in my mind as what is best in good people.

I sincerely miss the updates you used to do for stand, is there a list I can get on to see those again? In any case, please contact me sometime so I can get a better grasp of what it is you are up to these days. Our country has kind of a shit reputation these days, but people like you are going along way to repair it (even for those of us that don’t deserve such uplifting).

Hope to walk you to a bus stop again someday.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Presented in hi-def

Dear Stephanie,

By far one of THE most intimidating ladies I have ever “met”. I mean this in the best way possible. I met your through STAND I guess I could, in theory, call you a client of my design business. But to be honest trying to put you into any category would be rather facile.

We worked on what I assume is one of a bazillion projects you have going at anytime. You were clear on what you were looking for, but nurturing enough to allow me freedom to explore my various skatter-shod concepts. You worked well as an intermediary between myself and another group of individuals that I never met, and I would wager defended my design decisions as if they were your own, though I imagine if there were your decisions you would have been less likely to be vehement. The little project went swimmingly and I managed to get to know you a little if I might say so.

Not to sound like a love letter, but you can make a fella just fall over. You have this effortless charm that is totally disarming. I pride myself on being an oak when it comes to getting bowled over by niceties, but you kind of wisped that away in much the same manner you would any sort of complement one would pay to you. Initially I had this feeling that you were exercising the time tested skill of false modesty, then I would swing over to the other side and thing you maybe had a low opinion of yourself. But what I have come to realize is that you are the real deal. Someone who honestly and truly puts others before themselves, and gets pleasure from seeing others lifted.

I sincerely wish I was not on the other side of the country; it would have been truly awesome to see you in your element, as opposed to just play-by-play via chat. But in actuality seeing you in lectures and in some photos with people, I can only assume I would have felt like I should be sitting at the kiddies table. I doubt, however, you would let me feel that way. Even with a social handicapper like myself you would have prodded and poked me into chilling out and conversing like a normally adjusted human being. That’s just your style.

Our FB interactions have been more or less nil, though I have immensely enjoyed following the progress of your various endeavors via the feed. I know you have my email, and a bazillion ways to contact me and vice versa, so I won’t inflate this too far. But you are definitely one I will miss having that kind of access too. Though sometimes the magnitude of those posts make me feel like I am just kid playing in a sandbox by comparison.

I guess to sum up, you are pretty cool and all.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

grrl from ipanema

Dear Ash,

I haven’t spoken to you in quite a while. I have seen you a few times running with the coven o’ ladies, but alas have not managed to catch your eye. I know this is probably my fault, I tend to look for the ground when it comes to social situations, and you always seem to be gone from the bar before I am woozy enough to make idle conversation.

When I met you in Paul’s class, you were nothing but sunshine to me. A smile from you pretty much did it for a good day. You have some freakish art chops, and even more so an eye for beauty that I have never really gotten down. I was so happy for you when you went over seas. One of the first things I gleamed from your personality is that you are one of those people who could really soak in history, and art and all that wonderful culture that Europe has to offer. Myself being far too daft to make the venture, I vicariously followed you on the journey through fb, and it made me all summery and whatnot inside.

I have only had a handful of chats with you on fb, and occasionally felt compelled to comment or like things you have posted. But for the most part, our FB relationship has been pretty sparse. I will not really mourn its loss, but if I do not somehow find myself talking to you in the real world again, I may look back on it as a poor decision.

In either case, you have a couple of avenues to contact me through, if you feel so inclined. Or even if you happen to see me, blurry-eyed in the bar, feel free to wave, I shall do my best not to look at the floor, and maybe if I am particularly feeling special, I will try to talk.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

E-Mill-ionaire

Dear Emill,

On a review of our primary mode of conversing, I am floored by the numbers. We have chats that run hundreds of lines, email chains that look like Armageddon, and some gigs of files exchanged. Due to our virtual existence at STAND we never got to spent too much actual time together. For a couple sweltering days in DC you and your sister-standanistas took care of me. I was a beleaguered, confused, and grossly unprepared visitor to the city, but you guys when above and beyond to put a smile on my face.

You were always a batshit-crazy hard worker (though to be honest most of you kids were) and it was nice to feel that no matter how many hours I put in, I was not the leader in this regard. You took your position very seriously, but some how did it in a manner that made it appear as though it was a treat.

As I work my way through this list of folks, and start taking out STAND people, I feel my heart getting heavy. I really have such a huge place in there for you all. As time has gone by, the magic of nostalgia has made all the sleepless nights, and absurd deadlines look like sunny days. Every little emergency and panic stricken conference calls / email chains are like little gems in my inbox that let me remember how happy being unhappy could make me.

I really really miss you guys sometimes, and I know that I have atleast three emails for you in my google account, but I sadly feel as if I need a reason to contact you. Maybe you should have another project you need me to “certify” so that I may feel as though I have a purpose again. I do wish that at somepoint, when you venture into professional life (are you there already) I will be able to lend my meager skills to your task and maybe get a flash-back of the pride I felt doing it way back then

If you feel like it some random night whilst sorting through the mess that is in your inbox, please hit me up. It always helps to have a old friend say hey, and validate my existence once more. I could labor on some more, spouting platitudes and reminiscing the old days, but I am sure you get it.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Huggies?

Dear Miranda,

You were around a little bit when I used to live with Ken. Again here is a situation where I used fbfriending as a complement as opposed to actual friendship. The things I remember about you aren’t really moments or specific items. It’s just feelings. Everytime I saw you, you were smiling. I always felt like you were a freakishly kind person, you just had that presence when you came into the room. The kind of lady that if one was sick, one would be very very lucky to have you around.

I am certain you are making a top notch mom, and I imagine when yer kid gets older, much like many great moms, you will have a bunch of kids who aren’t yours calling you mom too.

I wish I had more to report here, but alas, I do not. We have like zero interactions here on the FB, but I assume maybe in a couple years you will be back out and about, and I will be around, maybe you can bore me to death with stories of you splendid child J

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

It's ok, idk either.

Dear Lauren,

I have never quite nailed down if we are related or not. I guess I just never asked. I don’t know how we became friends on here, but I do know that at one point I was friending people with the same name as me, and I used to be part of a group for the Fitzpatrick name on FB sometime back, so maybe that is it.

I have had little if any contact with you through here. I don’t know if you have even commented on anything on my page before. I know these posts are getting to be tiresome. Me not knowing the person I am unfriending very well and all, so it leads to these short posts.

I am really getting down to the people I know well soon though, and I will be making some posts about what I have learned, and what I am taking away from this whole experience, so maybe this will get better.

In either case Lauren, from what I can tell you are a good person, and you have a super cool last name, which has kept you around for quite a while.

I hope all goes well with you, and wish you the best.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Laura, can't you give me some time?

Dear Laura,

I know we met at school, and then talked a little after, but by the time more talking was to be had you were off to the big apple. Now you are there grinding it out as all beginning designers must do, and I am sure learning a shit ton of things cool and interesting.

While I have enjoyed watching your news feed for updates to projects, it seems as though you have scaled back. I imagine this is a good idea, as the company you work for might get poopy about it. I have your flickr account though, so really not having facebook between us won’t be all that big of a deal.

We have had a couple of chats since you left, but I think most of it was just me babbling about work in some kind of last ditch effort to make contact with a designer, who may know me. I am sure it basically just ended up making you less efficient at your job, but I don’t think that is all bad.

I think you are a very talented lady, and as soon as someone is smart enough to let you run with the ball a little you are going to make some waves (and probably have a blast in the process). I will keep an eye trained on your flickr, and keep my fingers crossed for good things to waft your way.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Like a Deadbolt song...

Dear Mr. Circus,

You have been a source of inspiration and hilarity for me for a while now. I first “met” you when I did a portrait of you. You are a perfect storm of throw-back items for me. You have the look of an old vaudevillian actor, like Buster Keaton and Chaplin, along with the interpretive make-up and get up. You have the crass and raunchy stylings of a Robert Crumb comic. And to top it all off you seem to be one of the real nice guys that are pretty much getting driven to extinction these days by faux tan douchebaggery, or guys like Dane Cook to personify it more accurately.

I have never had the pleasure of being at one of your performances, as my brutal fear of the public-at-large prohibits me from taking part, but I have seen a lot of your content online, and the pictures go a long way to making me laugh my ass off. I will at some point work up the nerve to go to one of these shin-digs of yours, as it seems I owe you atleast the price of admission for all I have gotten out of it. I also still fully intend to go as you for Halloween one of these years, and at this point I am fairly sure I would get recognized immediately.

My exposure to you on FB has been obviously one sided. I basically just watch your newsfeed for new photo shoots, random one liners, and promotional stuffs. It makes me happy to see that there is a real life audience out there for your particular brand of humor, as in general performance art is shit in my book, and could use some more from the likes of you. I will continue to follow your exploits on your website, and occasionally drop you a line to see if you need anything (or if I can just send fan art your way). I must say in a lot of ways you are too good at what you do, because it will probably encourage people to try to emulate it…but I am just a grumpy bastard, and want things one way. Keep it up, cause I am indeed still watchin’.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Heppy Heppy Birfday too yoooou toooyoou!

Dear Ambre,

I want to start by saying HEPPY BIRFDAY! Getting older kinda blows, but at your age it probably still means something to you and I wish you a good one! It has been probably a year and some since I last spoke to you in person. It’s kind of inexcusable, but its what happens when you are a shut in like I am. We had some good times back at the café, or atleast I did watching you fend off the advances of mentally ill gentleman callers at 4 am. It was such an odd thing to see you there, though in a lot of ways I guess you fit in just fine.

I remember going to Theo and Stacy’s a couple of times and getting food after your shift, again, old dudes and the mentally ill, which made it a pretty easy transition from the café. I also remember waking up on your couch once with the most brutal hangover ever, and you trying to get me to drink some of that vitamin shit you always had. I got home later and pretty much slept in the shower. Ahh drinking is so fun!

We had some good times you and I, and unlikely duo at best, but we made that shit work for a spell. I have been meaning to track you down at the Strutt, but I just can not bring myself to go into that place. I have no idea why, but I think I have finally given up on that building. I have frequented like 8 businesses there over the years and every one of them failed, so I guess this is an experiment to see if it will stay open if I stay out.

We have had little interaction on fb, other than the occasional posting for some event at the stutt, or my grumbling about said invite. Also you don’t seem to update at all either, so really I don’t think this will be all that big a deal as things go. All the same I assume you still have my info, so if at some point you feel froggy and want to chit chat for a bit, give me notice and we can make it so.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Megawha!

Dear Meaghan,

I know that I must know you from stand, but I have looked through my emails and everything, and I don’t think we ever interacted directly. I kept seeing your face in my news feed and I just thought I knew you, and maybe I do but don’t remember.

As I combing through my list trying to work out all the people I don’t have a lot of connection with I keep running into people who my brain just told me were friends. I just looked at your face and thought; “hey that girl looks friendly, she must be my friend”. Then it turns out, this may not actually be the case.

These posts I am making are getting to be boring, because I am finding folks on here I don’t have much history with. That being said, if you know better than I do what kind of interaction we have had I would really like to hear it. I assume I friended you because of stand, but out side of that, I got nothing. Maybe if you happen to know you could tell me and jog my memory.

I guess this is one lesson learned though going through this whole thing, sometimes a face seems enough to be a friend. I am assuming this tag will come as a surprise to you, as you have a lot of friends and at this point any connection to me will have been forgotten, but just take it in stride, and ignore it. If you are curious, just read the first post on this blog, and it will explain why this has happened and what it means…or again…just ignore it.

Today is a great day, but tomorrow will be too if we work at it.

Curt

Espanola hill?

Dear Theresa,

Man I am fairly sure we never talked in school. I can not recall one instance where we did. If you happen to remember any please let me know as it would be good to know. Most of my highschool years have been deleted from my brain.

I remember you Angie, and Oscar all having the same last name, and there seemed to be something weird about the relation, like you and Angie were sisters, but Oscar was a cousin…or maybe there was someone else in a younger grade with the same last name…jesus I suck at this.

I know Josh and I used to walk by your house on our way back from kendalburger park sometimes, though I don’t recall ever seeing you there. Josh had a pool party once, were you there? I really should have just let people I knew in highschool tell me what the hell I did back then. It would have certainly been more productive than trying to use my cobwebbed head as a resource.

The good news is I have zero bad memories towards you. I think I may have envied some of your popularity, as well as that of Angie and Oscar. I definitely think you were the more approachable one. Like I said I cannot remember specific instances, but I do seem to feel like talking could have possibly happened with you. I am fairly sure I never talked to Angie, and as far as Oscar is concerned it would have only been about football, or him and Joe busting my balls about something.

In either case, we have not exchanged on fb at all so its probably no big deal to lose me off your list. I hope life continues to be good for you, and nothing but the best things to happen.

Today is a great day, but tomorrow will be too if we work at it.

Curt

Tallglassawahwah

Dear Kristi,

Well it basically all started with me hating enya I think. I was at the crow’s nest and you were working, some god aweful enya (or enya-eske) music was playing and I could not take it. So I made a mixed cd right there on the spot. I recall at some point later you mentioning it, which meant you remembered, which made me terribly pleased with myself.

I have seen you out and about a few times, but as is becoming a theme here, we only speak when it is completely unavoidable. I don’t know if this is me, you, or a combination. But it’s the way it is and I as per usual accept it as is. I assume I will continue to see you about the town when I am out so that we might continue this time honored tradition.

As far as FB goes, well it is pretty much the same as in real life. I have had pretty little, if any contact with you through here, so I am sure this will go over just fine. If you happen to feel this summation of our interaction is inaccurate please feel free to correct me. My memory is as always a mess, and I am missing huge swaths of anecdotes from people on my periphery.

Today is a great day, but tomorrow will be too if we work at it.

Curt