Spiral binders unite!

Dear Michael,

You are one of my fellow morning counter folks. That wonderful hour of the day when no one says much of substance, other than to express the days possible length, or the preceding nights escapades. Usually if conversation were to be had it was done facing into one’s coffee, slowly tapping a cigarette in the ashtray (as was the custom at the time).

I remember you as an affable person, quick with a smile and in general you seldom said anything that didn’t need saying. I know this sounds like a tepid description, but to me it’s a often over looked virtue. In the café you more often than not needed hip waders to wallow your way though the miles of bullshit being spun out by anyone with an audience. But you would only add something if it was fitting, funny, or insightful.

I think we may have discussed work a little, maybe had a few chats on the failings of society, but by and large we could happily sit next to one another and just smoke and drink, knowing that atleast one of the chairs next to you wasn’t occupied by some gibberish-spouting-18 year old- fuck wit.

I hope I will still get to see you from time to time at the café when I drop in. If not for conversation, then atleast the cultivated nod of recognition that makes a pretty solid friendship in my book.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Mr. Smith I presume...

Dear Adam,

Man it seems like you have been gone forever. I can’t actually recall the last time I spoke to you, but I can assume it was at the café, at the bar, with Colonel Mustard, and the candlestick. In anycase, I remember meeting you way back when working the overnight at the café. We had some kind of conversation about Bjork and how you just moved here and what not. You had poofy yellow hair if I remember correctly.

You were always the optimist when you were here, quick with a smile and usually politely argumentative. It was always nice to know all I had to do was bring up an ethics based conversation and the game was afoot. Knowing me, most of the time is was some grandiose blanket statement about the nature of humanity, and you would retort in the negative citing exceptions, then I would backtrack a little with a statement like “clearly there are exceptions” and then towards the end “what the hell do I know anyways.”.

I have seen you get frustrated a few times, but as always you managed to rein it in and maintain composure. To be honest I half expected at some point that your head would explode from the effort. The café is always a hot-bed of idiocy, and on good days I got to be King Tard leader of the shit-spreaders. You however always took the side of patience and consideration. That one should understand the nature of the conversation being had, and not respond unless that response was sound and well considered. Frustrating as that may be, to one as bombastic as I, it was always nice to have a Hobbes to my Calvin in these matters.

All in all I still count you as a friend despite the lack of interaction. You were an irritant some days, as I am certain was I, but some of the best friendships are forged in such ways. I have had next to no contact with you through fb, but that is unsurprising. I assume your unfriending will go unnoticed for a few days, but feel free to send me your email just incase so that we may occasionally compare note should we happen to be in the same area for some reason.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

...and I bring you fire!

Dear George,

Man there are soooo many things I want to write here, but being that you won the game today, I will fulfill my promise and write yours today. First of all you may or may not know you saved my life. Back in the caffiend days, I was in fucking rough shape. I was in GR, knew fucking no body, broke and so depressed that for the only time in my life painting the ceiling was an option that was considered on a daily basis. You for what ever reason took pity on me and made me your buddy.

While in many ways (especially nowadays) you probably see your kindness as a vice instead of a virtue, I honestly can’t think of a way for thanking you. What do you get for a man who has everything as the saying goes (though I could really work hard at getting you the entire female cast of suckerpunch as a start).

There were so many random adventures we had working in the gears of the Timothy Empire its hard to focus on any in particular. There was acid, whippets, GHB. There were 4 am trips to Meijer to buy the then new Nintendo 64 and a shit ton of games. There was the time you melted down on that First of America guy and made me proud to be an American. You are also, believe it or not, mostly responsible for the career I now enjoy. Letting me mess around on your computer with all those adobe programs and our semi-daily desktop wallpaper design competition/flyers for liquid. You introduced me to the interwebs, pron and all kinds of other forms of debauchery. I mean jesus man we were fucking animals, but it was pretty goddamn awesome if you ask me. While I know for a fact I am not the best of friends in the world I hope at somepoint I thanked you for all you did for me, and in general just being a great friend.

I have gotten a lot of mileage out of stories of you and I over the years. The cat in the cooler (also penis dan’s cat trying to kill himself by jumping off the balcony), the time we did a 360 in the barbie mobile. Having gallons of drugs in the fridge (upon which again penis dan left those cat corpses he ordered on top of to rot). Eyeliner, pearls, boots and leather. Your fireman’s coat, the dollar drawer, the fucking Baptists. Those minty things we used to walk around with dangling from our noses. I really really would like to have drinks with you next time I am in Chitown, if you would be so kind as to shoot me those digits. I am probably boring as all fuck now, but well there is always the “remember when” game for old times sake. Besides there is so much that I would like to talk to you about that is just not fit for public consumption (lest all the kiddies that read this faint). All that being said you were, and as far as I can tell, are still pretty awesome. Now I need to head off to the bar and probably tell some stories about you (remember the cats shit box…jesus), but I will look for your reply.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

I lean on this bar to hold it up...seriously.

Dear Scott,

You are one of the few regulars from Liquid/Caffiend that didn’t make me want to shoot myself. I definitely had my issues with you, but I assume that was because you were the good looking guy that spoils the fun for the rest of us.

As I recall you had a very skewed sense of humor (which I assume most of us did around there) lots of cock jokes and references to sexual exploits of the shall we say morally ambiguous kind. You were always good to me when I worked, and if I happened to see you at Orbit or wherever, were one of the few people I could count on to provide some interesting conversation whilst I we waited for Handsel und Gretel to get the fuck on stage.

You always seemed to breeze in and out if there was nothing going on, instead of just sit and wait for it. And while business-wise this would make Timothy (and to a lesser degree me) angry, it is a habit I picked up from you. Nothing worse than some dude just watching the door for something interesting to happen. While there are plenty of times I miss those days, I was a pretty big fuck up and well we are all better off now…aren’t we?

I wish I hadn’t been on so many mini-thins back then, then perhaps I could recall more of our interactions. But then again when one is reaching this far down into his bag of memories, he should just count himself lucky he doesn’t pull out something horrific and traumatizing.

I would like sometime to head up to GR and maybe see a few folks, if I do so I will be sure to let you know if you are interested, Message me your email if you will.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Peaberry?...zoombot?!...whu?

Leah,

In many ways this whole thing is your fault indirectly. After a drunken night of FBFriending you and some of your waterstreet cohorts, I gave some serious thought to what exactly I was doing on Facebook. The culmination of that thinking was this blog.

While being a customer at your place of work does not constitute a friendship even under the loosest definition of the term, FBFriends may actually fit. You have always been conversational at the counter (as I assume you are directed to do) quick when serving (as all your fellow baristas are), and courteously acknowledging me as I walk out the door (as per described in your employee manual, page 5, article 13, section 3, sub-section 14). I am sure we will continue to see one another, and interact as we have in the past. So far as I can tell you are a good person, and despite what I said previously here, you genuinely seem to what to know the answer to “How are you doing?” which is always good.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Iced Coffee Guy