This ain't no disney joint.

Jasmine,

There are so many possible ways we could have met that my poor mush based brain can’t figure out the actual meeting. It could have been at WMU, it could have been at fourth coast, it could have been at UandU or Harvey’s, or through any number of mutual friends. In any case I think facebook is more or less useless to you and I. And in actuality may be a hindrance for us ever actually getting to know one another.

If we actually have interest in talking to one another, then the best method is to do so in person. I have NO IDEA where we stand relations wise. I see you from time to time, but as my usual method of nodding does not seem to work with you maybe, we have missed our chance to be conversational.

In any case, I think I would like to talk to you, I have kept you on this list so that is probably evidence enough, right? I think at this point you qualify as one of those people I friended just to have a future conversation starter…I could be mistaken.

Whelp, the ball is your court now durnit. Once we are unfriended, I will proceed to leave you be unless otherwise encouraged to do different. Hooray for pawning off liability.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Taxi! Taxi!

Dear Joanie,

What a mess I made of our meeting. I must make clear that I am not always such a prickly pear, but I believe the first time we met I was more or less dying from the sickness at Timothy’s house. I could be mistaken but didn’t I decline shaking hands, cause I had the plague and did not want to give it to you? What a great first impression huh.

Well aside from that, we have had tragically little interaction since last time I was in NOLA, though we have had a couple chuckles on the ol’ FB here, it really does no justice to actual interaction. Though atleast this way I don’t end up wandering around the French quarter, sun burned to a crisp, with a Styrofoam container on my head, trying to find the building I walked by atleast 10 times.

I really am a lame duck when it comes to partytime festivities, I need so much booze that by the time I am enjoying myself I am useless for conversation. You were incredibly understanding of all this, and despite the fact that anyone else would have probably told me to go take a flying fuck, you made sure that I didn’t end up dead in a gutter somewhere. I am sure the day you had that particular day was pure shit, but if its any consolation, it is one of a handful of times down there that I really made it a night. I could not have had a better time had it been scripted.

Ok, well on the off chance that I am back down there for a visit, I would request some kind of contact info from you other than here. I will leave this option up to you, as brief meetings sometimes don’t merit continued contact.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Relaxdondoit!

Dear Felix,

You and were bound to talk when we met at western. We both were fucking aliens there. Most of the time it was a miracle if I could say anything to anyone without feeling like I spoke a different language than them. Not to mention I had more in common with the teacher than I did with the students. But! We got along pretty well, and if you had stayed around a while it would have been fun to see what kind of subversive counter-school ad campaigns we could have come up with.

At first I was kind of hesitant to take you off my list, seeming as you are now in Cali. Which to me is far more of strange place than Germany could ever be. But I remember that you have my emails, and you are a webbased individual like me, so getting in touch with you, if one were so inclined, is not a challenge.

I have enjoyed your news feed postings and often they have been a source of entertainment and education. But as I said I assume there are a bazillion other avenues to keep tabs on you, so I won’t belabor the point. Obviously if there is any way I can be of service in the future, hit me up. I am always looking for some collaboration with a fellow misplaced individual.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Too much Hopps

Dear Emily,

Since today more or less was the culmination of you relocating the artifacts of your former Kalamazooan life out to Mason, I thought it fitting to release you from the “chopping block” as you put it. I am fairly certain this blog of mine is about as interesting or important to you as Lindsey Lohan’s current legal issues, but all the same, you are on the list, so you get the treatment.

I am (contrary to what you may believe) very happy that you came along. While I may not be the dating type, I appreciate that people feel differently on the subject than I do. I believe Drew is one of those people. He has been a happier man since you two started dating, and in my narrow, ego-based, summation of the world that is for the greater good.

While obviously I am not everyone’s cup o’ tea, you have weathered the storm well, and seem to be capable of forgetting some of the retarded, close-minded, and often brutally selfish things I do and say. I can not be sure of this, but well I haven’t woken up to a bed of flames, or bunnies on the stove and that is more or less a ringing endorsement in my book.

Being FB friends is more or less a perfunctory action when considering I live with Drew, but you made the effort in spite of what I am sure was Drew’s cautionary advice, and I think that is probably to be commended. I don’t think you are going to miss my cat updates, and the general “wasting my life” nature of most of my posts, but really no one should.

I only take myself as seriously as anyone gives me encouragement too, and you have certainly been an encouraging factor, how’s that for cryptic.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Mike Check

Hey Mike,

Man I wish there were a ton of things I can say here. Unfortunately, my corroded memory has allowed me very little. What I do remember is probably inaccurate, but I shall do my best.

It seems to me both you and I was classified as dirty kids in school. I could be wrong but we were both from the railroad tracks area of Parchment. What this basically means is we spent more time in the woods than most, and were often confused for feral kids by our friends parents.

Jesus man, I really am coming up blank here, but all the same I know I have no bad memories about you. Really that is a pretty ringing endorsement on my end. I would rather be nostalgic and clueless, than bitter and certain. All that being said, we haven’t really got on the trolley with fb, but I have enjoyed your posts about werk, and getting out.

I hope you can forgive the brevity of this post, I did my best.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Spiral binders unite!

Dear Michael,

You are one of my fellow morning counter folks. That wonderful hour of the day when no one says much of substance, other than to express the days possible length, or the preceding nights escapades. Usually if conversation were to be had it was done facing into one’s coffee, slowly tapping a cigarette in the ashtray (as was the custom at the time).

I remember you as an affable person, quick with a smile and in general you seldom said anything that didn’t need saying. I know this sounds like a tepid description, but to me it’s a often over looked virtue. In the café you more often than not needed hip waders to wallow your way though the miles of bullshit being spun out by anyone with an audience. But you would only add something if it was fitting, funny, or insightful.

I think we may have discussed work a little, maybe had a few chats on the failings of society, but by and large we could happily sit next to one another and just smoke and drink, knowing that atleast one of the chairs next to you wasn’t occupied by some gibberish-spouting-18 year old- fuck wit.

I hope I will still get to see you from time to time at the café when I drop in. If not for conversation, then atleast the cultivated nod of recognition that makes a pretty solid friendship in my book.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Sethically Challenged

Hey Seth,

I have to tell you I don’t remember anything, I put off doing your post for quite a while in hopes that I would have some epiphany and recall some weird highschool anecdote between you and I. But well like 2 weeks went by…not a got damn thing. I do remember your face. You have a big smile, and I seem to recall you having some side part action going on. But outside of that I got nothing.

You can go ahead and blame me for not having a lot of forethought on this project, considering exactly what the hell I was doing here. Find some consolation in the fact that I am greatly disappointed that I couldn’t even make up something to make this sound personal, or in some way gratifying to both of us.

I have no idea how we ended up FB friends but I assume it was because I recognized you in some rudimentary way, and my reptile brain just clicked away on the accept button. In any case, I am sure you will be better off at the ending of this little charade, and go about your life in much the same way you did before I was on your friends list.

Again sorry about all this, it is really not your fault…

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Adornable

Hello Stephanie,

As I said in Arianna’s unfriending, your’s would come in due time. Well as I would expect nothing less, your profile snuck off to the fringes and managed to go unnoticed for quite a while. I gotcha now though, and its goin down!

In any case like I said in her post meeting you guys was a blur. I don’t know if you actually are the type to see social awkwardness coming, but you always did a pretty stellar job keeping me focused in on the conversation. Arianna would be cycling on about something or other, and I would probably be lost, and you would pipe up, say like one sentence, and see that I am reengaged, then Arianna would continue.

It was kind of like good cop, bad cop, but you guys were both good.

You are from all account a splendidly kind, and considerate girl. If ever I had to trudge into some unfamiliar culture I could be so lucky as to have you with me. I am fairly sure that smile of yours is more or less a universal language. I really wish I had talked to you more, but when you guys took off overseas, and then there was all that time away, and it just seemed silly that one could just pick up conversation after all that happened.

I have never chatted with you on fb, and your updates in my news feed have been more or less non-existent. So I assume this unfriending will probably go unnoticed for a while (if at all). That’s ok though. I know for a fact you have my email, so if ever, whenever you feel like chatting, just drop me a line.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Mcdermotts away

Dear Katrina,

You are by far the most consistent lady pool player I have ever come across. I would guess by now you are a really solid 5 or maybe even a 6. I start this post with that fact because to be honest outside of pool we have had very little contact. There was that one time you invited me and some of the guys out to shoot pool at some super cool guys house. Then there is the few times a various bars we shot together. The fourth coast occasional counter conversation. But out side of that when it came down to summing you up for this post it was all pool.

This, ofcourse is not a bad thing. Being a pool player, if everyone thought of pool first when they thought of me that would be a pretty damn fine thing. I don’t really play anymore, I think leagues pretty much killed my love for the game, but I still time to time get a pretty heavy need for it.

That being said I am pretty sure I am going to run into out playing somewhere, and get a good chuckle at the poor schmucks that are putting quarters down thinking they are going to “push this girl off the table”. When I do we will have to match up again, and see how far I’ve slipped and how far you have progressed.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Rondoncarring.

Oi Davis!

While our time together back at central was rather brief, I obviously still have a soft part in my heart for you keeds from the class. I have to admit though the last time I saw you was a bit of a shock. It was kind of like some afterschool special. Like where there is like this quiet nerdy kid with a heart of gold and like all into whatever garbage kids are into these days, but then he like gets some fairy godmother to make him cool, and well at the end of the film I think like Kirk Cameron shows up and says some stupid shit and the guy is a nerd again…so yeah, like that.

You just seemed all grow’d up and like covered in city slickery, my brain just didn’t process it. All the same I know you are doin well over there and it really is all anyone could ask. I knew you were one of the kids that would not be hanging around long, and I saw your brother pretty much go through the same thing. You guys are obviously apples & oranges in a lot of ways, but it was a neat progression to watch.

You being uberinterwebs saavy I assume this unfriending thing will mean little to nothing. If you want to find me for something I am easy to find. I would like to chat with you if you end up state’s side again, so lemme know when you do.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Any relation to Johnny?

Dear Josh,

It’s kinda funny that you are still on my friends list in a way. You and I had limited interaction over the years, really if it was measured I am sure I have had more conversations with random gas station attendants than with you. But I think the primary reason why you have never been purged is that I kind of feel like me having you on my friends list is kind of an endorsement from me. I approve of you as a person. I know that no one really needs my approval (or in actuality wants it) but it’s all I have to offer, so you got it.

I remember hearing the guys kind of bitch about you over the years when you were all in a band. While this, I imagine, is completely typical of most band like situations, to me it was kind of interesting and peaked my curiosity.

To me them engaging in complaining it taught me a few things. One is that they all cared for you very much. One never complains about someone who is irrelevant to their life, and usually the more vehement the complaint the more care and consideration that person has for the other. The second thing about the complaining that got me was that for the most part they were complaining that you were too practical, and generally “uninvested” in the whole band idea. This also endeared me too you. I understand loving one’s music, and for musicians I imagine it is something on the order of religion. Faith in the noise being made is part and parcel with the sincerity of the art I think. But for you it seemed to be (and I am basing this on very little here) something you did to relax and escape, not as a career avenue.

I tend to enjoy people who are respectable (atleast by my feeble standards) and there are a shit ton of folks out there that complain about not being respected, when they have done nothing other than exist to garner it. I guess what I am saying is that whatever little quirks and behavioral anomalies that caught my interest in you , basically amounted to me respecting you in some weird way. So I say congrats, because in my world that is a pretty big deal (not like dodge stratus big deal, but a big deal none the less).

I have had very little interaction with you on FB, and I can only assume that this unfriending will be more or less the closing of a chapter in our interactions. However you have my email, or if you don’t lemme know and I will send it along, if for any reason you would like to chit chat, or there is something I can do for you.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Maggs away

Dear Maggie,

Another one of my ol’ standanistas. You always kind of seemed like the business end of stand to me. Not in the like “stuffy, money minded” kind of way, but more in the “let’s get this shit done” kind of way. I knew that if ever you were brought on to a project, that means shit just got real. The powers that be decided whatever it is that I was working on at the time was important enough to merit sending the wolf in to “manage some assets”.

One of the things that stuck me about a lot of you stand folks is how determined and professional you were. I mean in my eyes you were mostly kids, but jesus you all put to work like you were vets. I think a lot of this was do to me hearing kids say things like “I am not a good test taker” for the better part of my life, and in general having no faith in the youth of the country.

Everytime I see a post from you on my news feed you are off in some far flung place making a difference. While that makes me feel rather like a lump of do-nothing, it makes it easier for me to know that someone out there is putting their money where their mouth is.

One regret I have is I never managed to finish that little project of ours that will go unnamed. It would have been some of my finest work ever, and to this day I marvel at its ingenuity. I know by letting you go that I may never hear from you again, but I will take solace in the fact that you are always in my gchat list, and if ever there need be a me for you, I am one click a way.

You are awesome and all that, I think I have made that pretty clear, if you haven’t already made it abundantly apparent by your actions.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Grmumble mumble...blizzard.

Dear Logan,

I think it best by starting this off with honesty. I kinda had a crush on you when I friended you. Now I know this may not seem like all that big a deal, I mean I assume everyone does it from time to time, but I don’t think people openly acknowledge it much. So, I thought I would just say that, since I think you probably have no idea A) how I got on your friends list and B) why you are now being written about.

Now that we have that said, a little about you. The primary thing I remember about meeting you was dairyqueen. I remember coming in there a couple times when you were working there (or was it a different icecream place…pretty sure it was dairy queen). and watching you deal with customers was pretty much the funniest thing ever. A lady would walk up to the counter (usually corpulently obese) and say something to the effect of “Gimme bucket lard chocolate swirl nao”. Your face would do this wonderful dance when this happened. First you would see some contempt, but blink and you would miss it, this is then followed by an equally fast smile (as if a nervous tick from the effort of hearing the words you just heard) and finally a kind of blasé resignation. It was priceless and I don’t know how you made it through everyday there. But rest assured I was pleased as punch to see it.

I know I have spoken to you at the café a couple of times, but that has been quite a while. Currently we have a weird “glance and move on” method of interaction. I have this with a lot of people. Its where at one point you spoke, but then some time passed and there was never really a context for continued conversation. So what you do from there out is look, go “yep that’s that person I talked to a couple times” in your head, and then after that confirmation, go about your day.

I have thought about breaking this trend, but I have no clue what I would say. Probably something like “Hey.” (awkward pause) then “ok.” And go back to my seat.

I am pretty sure we have never interacted on FB so not much will be lost here. If for some reason you feel like chatting, well, I see you probably once every couple of weeks in one establishment or another, so like maybe someday…I will dump coffee on myself and that will be a good conversation starter.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Like water on a hot skittle

Dear Kate,

The first thing I can say about you is that your are fervent. I think it has always been a double-edged sword to me. I tend to value passion about something (anything for that matter) pretty highly. But I also tend to avoid people with a mission in life like the plague. This is largely due to my inability to have strong feelings about anything serious. It’s not that I think I am too cool for school, it’s just that if you think about anything enough, its actual value dissolves, or atleast it does for me.

The second thing about you is you don’t take shit, ever. I am fairly certain that regardless the situation you will not be bulldozed off your point if you feel it worth defending. While apathetics like me will more often than not just let slights slide, you aren’t afraid to say “Hey, cut that shit out.”. This so far as I have seen is a good thing.

Other than the café you and I have had very little interaction. I think I had a beer at your house once, and we may have talked about misconceptions about feminism a few times, but like many of my other friends, have been a presence in kalamazoo that haunts the same alleyways and bar stools as I do, and in that kind of relationship on the periphery, I think I can safely say you are a friend.

I have never talked or interacted with you on fb, to be honest I was kind of surprised you even had one. That being said, I am sure your unfriending will go by mostly unnoticed by you. But hey, you are on my list so it must be done. I will see you round the zoo, probably on the way to the bathroom somewhere.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Lucindasky

Dear Luci,

I did indeed miss my chance to go drinking with you the last time you were in town. Given our limited in-person meet ups I feel like maybe the powers that be are conspiring to keep that kind of stuff from happening. The whole process of keeping in contact with someone who lives elsewhere is always a tricky one, especially when you don’t have much of a IRL relationship.

I think we have each been fairly entertaining to one another, and I suppose helpful and supportive if FBchat can be counted upon as a vehicle for delivering such things. In either case, there were a lot of laughs and late night bitchfests between the two of us.

I am fairly certain I met you through Ken, but I could be mistaken. I always got your name confused with Nola (I think that was his dog at the time). I remember seeing you around harvey’s frequently and then at the café from time to time. I always blow at conversations with people I only have a small connection with socially, but you made the effort to atleast facilitate a meeting, and that was certainly appreciated.

You are a lovely lady, and given how you speak of Colorado, I can only imagine how good a place you are in life wise these days. If ever someone benefitted from escaping kalamazoo, you did. I know you were unhappy here, as a lot of folks are, but now that you have distanced yourself from what can be a neverending horrorshow of gossip and rumors I bet you are in an infinitely better place peace wise.

All that being said, our FBfriendship has been a bumpy but frequent one, and in a lot of ways it will be sorely missed. You have chatted me through some garbage times in my life and that is not something to be taken lightly. Obviously you have other methods of contacting me, so if ever you once again you find yourself in town, and are interested in seeing whether or not I am capable of making plans and keeping them, please let me know.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Emazing

Dear Erin,

Man it has been a long long time. The funny thing is I had so little personal interaction with you it seems weird that I would have such strong memories of you. I can remember almost our entire “interview” when I was applying to STAND, and I am fairly certain I have never been so nervous about anything. Seems strange to me now, knowing what I do about you and STAND in general, that I was nervous, but never the less I was sweaty palmed and chain smoking the whole time.

I remember going into it I thought it was just something for WMU, not a national thing, so I wasn’t that nervous going in, but once I found out the scope of what I was getting into…so began hand wringing.

You are responsible for me getting involved with STAND, and that had a huge impact on my life in so many ways. It might not seem like all that big a deal to you considering you probably have brought in dozens of people into the STAND world, but to me I see little ear marks of it all over my life. Aside from the purpose of STAND, which in its self was huge to me, there are the people. I look down this friend list of mine as I slowly whittle it away, and see the smiling faces of so many extraordinary people I have met there. I think of all the late late nights, and deadlines, and the general panic of “what if this gets fucked up”. What it all boils down to is, if it weren’t for you that 3 year period in my life would have been so very different, and I think where I am now would have been much further off in the distance.

I was pretty butt-hurt when I first started that you were already moving on in your role at STAND, I felt like you got me in, so I wanted to have a chance to prove myself to you. Not that Scott wasn’t a good leader, far from it, but I had something to prove to you. Just know that everytime I went batshit and worked for like 3 days straight on something I was hoping you were watching. I don’t seek approval from many, as just about anyone who knows me will verify, but for you I just felt so grateful and inspired that it made me push extra hard.

Ok, this is getting soggy. To sum up you were/are awesome and some day when you are running for office I would love to be on your team.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Oooh Pokey

Dear Pokey,

Man some days I miss you pretty good. I have done some thinking and I have figured out roughly what it was that made you such a comfort to me when you were around. You gave out this kind of feeling through your demeanor and behavior. Everytime I started talking to you, I felt relaxed and at ease. I think the main reason I started calling you pokey is because of this feeling. The best way I can find to sum it up is that feeling you get after good meal and a beer after a long day. Smoking a cigarette and just kind of staring off being happy for those little things everyone is always talking about. That is what it was as far as I could tell.

I didn’t get to talk to you as much as I liked back when you were here, but maybe that is part of the nostalgia of the whole thing. It was mostly coffee shop banter and a general good feeling when you were around. I don’t know how most people reacted to your abrupt expatriation, but I for one greeted it with a smile and a small chuckle. Seemed fitting to me at the time, and it still does.

I don’t know what drew you to Korea, but I am sure whatever it is you still see it all around you otherwise you would have called it quits by now. Anytime someone gets out of Kzoo before they become all bitter and withdrawn I am a happy man. Yeah, this often means I lose someone I liked, but part of being close to someone is knowing that they are happy, and in general I get the feeling you are.

I hear whispers every now and again that you are coming back for visits but being the sort of guy that tends to get local information about a week late I am sure this is of little use to me. If for whatever reason you do happen to be back in the states for a spell I would appreciate an email letting me know, so that I might stir up enough brass to get out and see you.

Facebook has been more or less a non-factor for you and I, but really I don’t think it was meant to be a form of communication between us. We are more the “grab a smoke in the street” kind of friends, not late night chatting types. In any case, I hope all is well, and I assume there will someday be a reunion of sorts, perhaps a brief one, and we can cover what has happened since your departure.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

A man Duh!

Dear Amanda,

You definitely fall in to the category of Kzoo folks that I have zero excuses for not knowing better. It really is inexcusable. You are friends with a bunch of my friends, you frequent (or frequented) the same places as I do (have). Not to mention the various interests/habits/proclivities that I am sure we share. Yup, I am just that much of social paranoid, that even someone who is more or less being slammed into my face repeatedly still manages to elude any kind of substantial contact from me.

Although, all hope is not entirely lost. You appear to be still in Kalamazoo, you have not joined a cult, started breeding, gotten married, or started reading a lot of bukowski, so there is a fairly good chance our will paths cross again, and if for no other reason than I made this post, we will be able to talk. One of the lessons I am slowly learning about this little project is that it kind of gives me some social encouragement to be a better (or atleast louder) person in public.

You always struck me as a pragmatist, and obviously the kind of person of which mess around, one would not. Given that my actual interactions with you have hovered on the periphery of cafes and bars, who am I to say what you are like. I can say that you have never peeved me in the slightest, or even so much has thrown a glance my way that didn’t seem friendly. So again, no excuses for my lack of interaction. I guess I am just a shit, and need to quit.

I will see you around town for sure, and I will make an effort, red faced and all that, to make your acquaintance or further it.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

DORMant

Dear Vanessa,

It has been a long time since I last spoke to you. You are (take it how you will) the last person from the WMU chapter of STAND on my friendslist. Somehow I had this idea that I would be seeing you around and that it might behoove me to have you on FB. Well I think more or less it has been like a few years since last I had contact with you, so…that worked out well.

In either case you were (and I assume still are) a swell girl, who is virtually overbrimming with emotion and passion. The thing that always struck me about you was your ability to juggle so many things at once. I am not saying you always managed the trick flawlessly, but you had that fierce stubbornness to persevere even in the face of almost certain failure, at great risk to your sanity. I admire people like you, if for no other reason than I know I am incapable of such gymnastics.

Our fbfriendship has been about as active as our rl friendship, but I don’t think either of us are worse for ware. Obviously, that our friendship in either case is in disrepair is through no fault of yours. I am a habitually lousy friend, and run from social events like a rabbit on fire. In either case, I may or may not run into around town, I know you have my email, so if ever you need anything lemme know.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Helpacomputer...

Dear Kristi,

Man what a weird place to be, writing about you. I never really got the chance to know you. I think we ended up fbfriends because your computer was broke and I tried to fix it. I remember thinking that after I fixed it that I should make a more concerted effort to talk to you when you were around. But I got to thinking about it, and I started worrying (as I often do) that if I was to start talking to you after “helping” you with something that it would be awkward, like I was using your need of assistance as a gateway to talking to you.

I know it probably seems kind of a stupid way of thinking but it’s how my brain works for the most part. From what I recall being around you, you were always very calm, cool, and collected. I would say level-headed but I am unsure, despite hearing it often, what that term really means. In any case you were always nice to me, and conversational upon meeting. You seemed like the kind of person that would take very little of my shit, but allow me some latitude if it was funny. I look for this kind of thing often, but very seldom find it. Most people are one side or the other.

Now that you are in a different state, this may very well be then end of contact between us. That is kind of sad but given what I have heard of Colorado, I am sure you have tons of cool kids to chat to, so it certainly won’t be hard to not notice J

I don’t think you and I ever spoke on FB so my absence there prolly will be minimal. But in anycase…

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Maddymade

Dear Maddy,

You were the first person to serve me at the WSCJ. Being that I have troubles when dealing with new people if I remember correctly I mumbled a lot and spent a lot of time staring intently at the deli case. I think the conversation went something like this:

Maddy: Hey, what can I get for you today?

Me: mmumble mumble coffee, mumblemumble….mumble.

Maddy: What size would you like?

Me: Normal mumble mumble?

Maddy: I think that is a large.

Me: mumble.

Maddy: By the way, my name is Maddy.

Me: ….(looks at deli case)…(looks at chocolate bars)…(looks at deli case again)…

Maddy:…What’s your name?

Me:OH!...Curt mumblemumble.

But despite this awkward introduction, you took it in stride and treated me standard WS manner of brief cordial barista banter that I have come to accept as standard practice at the café. You were always nice to me even if you happen to be beyond the counter (which as far as I can tell is not specifically dictated in the WSCJ employee manual) and would often ask me what I was working, how work was going, and generally seemed interested in my well being.

While again I always have the sinking suspicion that this was a form of mandatory interaction, you never let me feel that way, and it was much appreciated. Once I heard that you were leaving the café to pursue your career endeavors and what not, there was a bit of sadness about the whole thing (this is in part due to my fear of who would be replacing you =) but I have since seen you pop into the café from time to time and it makes the transition easier for my mushy brain.

I am certain in whatever vocation you find yourself working in you will take to it with the same effortless manner in which you served coffee, and obviously friends will be made. I will make due with the occasional head nod / wave whenever you should happen to drop in while I am there. It was as good as a customer / employee relationship can get, and I fear it has spoiled me on what to expect from my baristas in the future.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Relax...its cool.

Hey Josh,

Man you really were always the nice guy. Like many folks from the highschool days my memory is super foggy, blurry, and I am sure tinted with what only can be described as nostalgia pink. But the vague memories I do have of you almost exclusively involve basketball.

Though I do seem to remember being a jerk to you at some point(s) and you always being like “hey, lets just chill out and have a good time.”. Which as anyone can imagine is an incredible rarity in the highschool environment. Most of the time when two HS guys get into a discussion of a heated nature there begins an escalation of words and volume. The volume goes up, the intelligence goes down, then at some point people start swinging. I am fairly certain that never happened between you and, which is amazing considering how much of a shithead I was (and in some regards still am) back in day. I can only assume this is because you had the foresight to know how stupid it was, looked for some defusing words, said them, and then my primitive teenage brain relaxed.

One of the visual cues I seem to think of when it comes to you is the slow-mo finger roll you used to do. I don’t know if anyone out there remembers Double Dribble from the NES, but in it there was an animated sequence before each dunk. It was basically three 8bit images of whoever it was doing the dunking accompanied by some kind of thunk-thump-slam noise. This is exactly how I remember your lay-up going. It always amazed me that it went in unblocked (which it did more often than not) and that it wasn’t travelling. I mean I watched, no travelling! But it had the appearance of like 4 steps, but it was completely legit. Bizarre, yet something you def want on your side.

In any case, today at this late hour you are getting the boot, but I am sure you are cool with it (as you always seem to be). You still live in town and I am going to keep an eye out for you. I have probably seen you out and about and been unsure, but from here on out if I think it is you I am just going to ask.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Do the watusi!

Dear Cara,

My it’s been a while. I think the last time I actually spoke to you in person was at the international terminal at O’hare. I kind of froze when I saw you, it was kind of like seeing a mirage. I though what are the chances I would run into a kzoo person here? I was picking up a friend and I think you were heading out. There were words involved but I think both of us just did our best “English gentry” impersonation and then parted company.

I remember meeting you in context to Anders. I think you two might have been dating, but I could be mistaken. It was weird that someone besides Matt in that house was seeing someone, and I remember it being a curiosity to me. It also turned out you knew a few other people I did, but pretty much every interaction we have had has been through the conduit of another mutual friend.

I have kept you on my friends list all this time because you are a strange bird. Its not anything specific that you do, but more about how you seem to do things in general. I always got the feeling that you were disconnected from the world around you as much as I am, but somehow you pull it off and end up seeming more interesting than eccentric, eccentric being the nice word for crazy, but not homeless crazy.

I will miss your rather infrequent news updates, and being that you are now in some other state and married, this may indeed be the little death that preceeds the big one as friendships go. I hope, maybe somehow I will see you in the airport again, or the café, or maybe on the street haggling at a garage sale. In anycase your presence will be missed.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

/votekick

Well, given the general reaction you have had to me doing this, sarcastic comments, the fb group et al I am shocked you are still on my friends list. There is a phenomenon in online video games call “griefing” in which a participant who is generally uninterested in playing the game, or has become bored with it, goes about disrupting and harassing those who are playing. By in large these individuals make me furious, but given that is there intended goal I do my best not to feed the trolls by getting all bent out of shape. I do have my slip ups from time to time, but never the less the proper method for dealing with griefers is to just ignore them, or if you are lucky kick/ban them.

In your case, I am not entirely sure it was your desire to do so, but you have actually bothered me with all this mess. I know it’s really a silly thing to get your panties in a bunch over, but I guess I am more pouty about this kind of thing when it involves my friends, and people that know me.

I think your friend TJ has some valid points, and while it actually did make me angry when I read what he wrote, I will not deny that there is plenty of truth to it all. Trust me I have questioned why I started this whole thing a bazillion times and everyday that goes by is more or less a challenge to continue to do it. But as I described in the “why I am doing this” post thingy, I have made a decision and I am going to see it through.

All that being said, I am sure I will see you around and what not, its no biggie after all it is just facebook and basically my feelings about anything is fairly moderate. Hope all is well out there, and tell the wilderness I said “Hi” next time you are out there.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

p.s. happy mothersday!

Prismaslaughter

Yo Drew!

So with you being all over mah news feed lately, I though what better time to wish you on your way with unfriending. You are starting a whole new life down in NOLA, so maybe clearing out some deadwood might not be a bad idea.

In any case, you and I have had a weird kind of exposure to one another. As with George we were both part of the Timothy Empire, and served as best we could in our time. You were always the Javasphere guy in my head, but I could be hugely mistaken.

What I do remember for sure is the first time I saw some of your drawings. You know that feeling you get when you see someone’s art and at first you are like “wow, that is awesome” and then you are all like “shit I need to draw shit like that”. Well maybe I am the only one who goes through this, but that is how it was. I saw your drawing and was just all kinds of blown away. It was like JTHM but with some actual illustrating talent. That’s not to mention your other stuff that was on the more “artsy” side, Like remember that fucking mushroom skull thing you did in prismacolor? I have NEVER seen anyone eat up prismas like that, must have been like a quarter inch deep in someplaces, awesome.

And now you are doing tattoos, which is pretty awesome. You need to put your shit up for folks to see, I am more than willing to donate some time to make this happen if you are interested. Every artist needs a forum beyond facebook. In any case, I am glad you are happy down it NOLA and I am sure I will see you down there at some point (more than likely when the weather doesn’t melt my pasty northern balls).

All in all you are in good hands down there, Timothy and Rach are good hosts and you really could not possible hope to find two more connected people for what you do. Talk about a perfect storm! Send me your information if you feel so inclined, I will keep an eye out all the same.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Mr. Smith I presume...

Dear Adam,

Man it seems like you have been gone forever. I can’t actually recall the last time I spoke to you, but I can assume it was at the café, at the bar, with Colonel Mustard, and the candlestick. In anycase, I remember meeting you way back when working the overnight at the café. We had some kind of conversation about Bjork and how you just moved here and what not. You had poofy yellow hair if I remember correctly.

You were always the optimist when you were here, quick with a smile and usually politely argumentative. It was always nice to know all I had to do was bring up an ethics based conversation and the game was afoot. Knowing me, most of the time is was some grandiose blanket statement about the nature of humanity, and you would retort in the negative citing exceptions, then I would backtrack a little with a statement like “clearly there are exceptions” and then towards the end “what the hell do I know anyways.”.

I have seen you get frustrated a few times, but as always you managed to rein it in and maintain composure. To be honest I half expected at some point that your head would explode from the effort. The café is always a hot-bed of idiocy, and on good days I got to be King Tard leader of the shit-spreaders. You however always took the side of patience and consideration. That one should understand the nature of the conversation being had, and not respond unless that response was sound and well considered. Frustrating as that may be, to one as bombastic as I, it was always nice to have a Hobbes to my Calvin in these matters.

All in all I still count you as a friend despite the lack of interaction. You were an irritant some days, as I am certain was I, but some of the best friendships are forged in such ways. I have had next to no contact with you through fb, but that is unsurprising. I assume your unfriending will go unnoticed for a few days, but feel free to send me your email just incase so that we may occasionally compare note should we happen to be in the same area for some reason.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Don't call me wednesday...it's thursday afterall.

Dear Betsy,

I really wish I could remember exactly where we met, I think it was school and somehow Denise related, but it’s all a blur. Being a fellow weird kid I think we roamed in the same circles for so many years that it just seemed appropriate that we were friends on here. Like some big house party that everyone we know is at, but every one is acting like an asshole talking as loud as they can about themselves and how funny they think LOLcats are.

I really can’t remember any specific times we had together, but I seem to remember talking to you a shit ton of times in various public situations, as if you were some how required to go to where ever I was. I am glad to see you are a mom now, as frankly any kid you raise is bound to off set atleast 3 shitty kids other folks are making.

I am certain that you and I never talked on fb, so I am sure unfriending will be fairly painless for you, again if you even notice it. All the same it was nice having this window in what a normal weird kid can do when they put their minds to it. That’s right I said normal weird kid…deal with it. In any case I will more of less see you around (albeit I am sure less frequently than before what with all the child-rearing and whot not) and when I do I will be sure to toss a nod your way and look for an opening in conversation that won’t make my hands sweat.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

Ambler...friendninja.

Dear Amber,

Dear I have no idea how you made it this far. Your name blended in so seamlessly with other friends that I missed you when it came to selection. I assume this won’t offend given I think we have spoken to each other maybe twice, and chatted on fb about the same.

I think for the most part I was friends with you because of Ashley. But then again, I cannot be sure. Your stealthy name kept you hidden in plain sight in my friends list for like 3 whole purges and, the first month of this blog. You really should get some kind of award for it, I boggles one’s mind…esp. mine J

Not that I am terribly bothered by it, but I have already sent plenty of friends to the plank, and probably you should have not made the cut. I am certain you are great gal, and I do vaguely recall you guys visiting me at fastsigns back in the day, which is probably what got us to be friends.

In any case you have prompted me to really take a look at everyone on my list here and make sure there aren’t any other friendninjas lurking in the darkness.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

El Guano Loco!

Dear Cat,

I know I met you in photo class with your dynamic-duo-partner in crime Brea, but I am not terribly certain how I came to friend you guys. Considering how pretty you are it was probably me drunk fbooking again, but never the less you took the bait and have been in my feed ever since. I have lost Brea somewhere down the line, but you must have made the cut a few times given how long it has been since we had class together. I don’t know if that is a compliment or not, but hey…here we are =)

Like the nameplate says you in my book are that great variety of batshit crazy that makes life interesting. While I barely know you in person, your presence in my news feed is always a good thing, and more often than not you look like you are either having the time of your life, or hopped up on goofballs. I am a kind of stoic boring type so seeing these gives me a chance to atleast witness what the other side of the brain can do for/too you.

Since we are not friends per se IRL I can’t suspect that you will be staying in touch, though I would like maybe some occasional updates on Savannah as I am SO jealous that you get to be there and I don’t. I wish nothing but the best for you and I can only hope you keep that energy you have in abundance.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

...and I bring you fire!

Dear George,

Man there are soooo many things I want to write here, but being that you won the game today, I will fulfill my promise and write yours today. First of all you may or may not know you saved my life. Back in the caffiend days, I was in fucking rough shape. I was in GR, knew fucking no body, broke and so depressed that for the only time in my life painting the ceiling was an option that was considered on a daily basis. You for what ever reason took pity on me and made me your buddy.

While in many ways (especially nowadays) you probably see your kindness as a vice instead of a virtue, I honestly can’t think of a way for thanking you. What do you get for a man who has everything as the saying goes (though I could really work hard at getting you the entire female cast of suckerpunch as a start).

There were so many random adventures we had working in the gears of the Timothy Empire its hard to focus on any in particular. There was acid, whippets, GHB. There were 4 am trips to Meijer to buy the then new Nintendo 64 and a shit ton of games. There was the time you melted down on that First of America guy and made me proud to be an American. You are also, believe it or not, mostly responsible for the career I now enjoy. Letting me mess around on your computer with all those adobe programs and our semi-daily desktop wallpaper design competition/flyers for liquid. You introduced me to the interwebs, pron and all kinds of other forms of debauchery. I mean jesus man we were fucking animals, but it was pretty goddamn awesome if you ask me. While I know for a fact I am not the best of friends in the world I hope at somepoint I thanked you for all you did for me, and in general just being a great friend.

I have gotten a lot of mileage out of stories of you and I over the years. The cat in the cooler (also penis dan’s cat trying to kill himself by jumping off the balcony), the time we did a 360 in the barbie mobile. Having gallons of drugs in the fridge (upon which again penis dan left those cat corpses he ordered on top of to rot). Eyeliner, pearls, boots and leather. Your fireman’s coat, the dollar drawer, the fucking Baptists. Those minty things we used to walk around with dangling from our noses. I really really would like to have drinks with you next time I am in Chitown, if you would be so kind as to shoot me those digits. I am probably boring as all fuck now, but well there is always the “remember when” game for old times sake. Besides there is so much that I would like to talk to you about that is just not fit for public consumption (lest all the kiddies that read this faint). All that being said you were, and as far as I can tell, are still pretty awesome. Now I need to head off to the bar and probably tell some stories about you (remember the cats shit box…jesus), but I will look for your reply.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt

The Changeup

Hey Jim,

I have been told quite a few times in my life that I “look like a baseball player”. While I always took this as a great compliment in some weird way, in my head you are what a baseball player looks like. While for the most part my memory as far back as highschool is for shit, the great thing about it is that is mythologizes individuals and events. I was a fairly horrific baseball player, it seemed no matter how much I loved the game it was just never meant to be. But I did get to watch a lot of guys with talent play the game back then, and I guess that made it worth all the hours of frustration trying to hit the goddamn ball.

You in my book were one of those tried and true baseball story lines you see in the movies (usually starring Kevin Costner, Dennis Quaid, what have you) the work horse pitcher who seems to never give in to exhaustion. You didn’t have the flashy stuff, but you had consistency. Which especially in high school ball is pretty much what coaches pray for. It seems to me now that they pitched you so frequently and for such durations that any normal human being probably would file a lawsuit. But even if your elbow swelled up, or your shoulder had a comically huge bag of ice on it, you were always the first to volunteer to pitch, regardless of the situation. I think that is what always made me love baseball. A guy can really learn how to go past his limits on the field. He can learn his breaking points, can learn about being alone. There are great moments when you are the hero, but more often than not, like in life, it’s the grind that is the order of the day. You bared the weight of that pretty damn good, especially for being a kid. I think I have kept that with me for all these years since then.

In school our friendship was relatively unremarkable. We had friends in common, and I seem to remember we sat at the same table at lunch. But when baseball season was on you were like veteran of the team, even if it was JV ball.

In anycase our FBfriendship has been more or less an exercise in curiosity. It’s kind of like the lunchroom again, we sat together at a table so stories could be shared over mac and cheese and taco bar day. I don’t imagine given how full your life is you will notice much about this little fb thing, but well you are always a character in my head when it comes to baseball, and it my book that ain’t half bad.

Today was a great day, but tomorrow our FBfriendship will end,

Curt